Remembering Kevin James Caetano 4/7/1984 - 7/17/2006

  *This may be a sensitive subject to some people as it is about the loss of a loved one that many of us knew, which is why I got permission from his brother, Kris, to write about it. 

 
     A couple weeks ago, a person named Kevin James Caetano, whom we lost almost 7 years ago was popping into my head almost daily at random times. It was never because one thought led to him..he'd just sort of show up. Perhaps it's because his birthday is coming up soon, but when this kind of thing happens, I usually feel like that person is trying to stop by and say hello or tell me something, but then again, I thought that only happened in dreams. Anyway, these thoughts about Kevin have been arising more and more, and recently, I woke up in the middle of the night somewhat half asleep, and I started thinking about him again, how we lost such a young, beautiful soul and of course it led me to the thought of the day we had to say good-bye, his rosary, the funeral, and how even though we lost someone we loved and it was a sad time for us, after the funeral we all had fun at his family's house sharing memories about Kevin, laughing about the good times, having water fights, because it was an extremely hot day in the middle of July, and it's what Kevin would've wanted us to do. But then I had a flash back about his mother from that day. This whole thing was like a movie playing in my head. I could see in his mother's face that losing him was like losing a big piece of her own soul. I started remembering her tears, her cries for him, her agony, and then I envisioned me telling her, "It's okay. His soul is within your heart. He's still here." I have no idea why. I didn't actually tell her that at the time, but the vision was so clear that it felt like I did. Perhaps it's what Kevin wants her to know? I'm not sure, but I always think there's a meaning behind everything, especially thoughts that come to us that are out of our control.
     I got to know Kevin better during my high school years, because of his brother, going to school dances, and being involved in the Portuguese community...I remember calling him "Kevy Pooh" while he would play football just to tease him in front of his teammates, but I think he actually liked the name. :) I'll never forget during the time people would call me Mufasa because of my big hair and one time, while we were playing music in Gustine, my hair was out of control and I told him I couldn't calm my fly aways and he referenced the movie Friday and said in his best ghetto voice that he could, "You betta put some water in that daaamn shit!" It was too funny, but you probably had to be there. Those are just a couple of many memories I have of him. When I think of Kevin James, I remember him as the kindest, most sincere, trusting, protective, and humble person I had ever known. He was like a big bear, tough on the outside, but warm and fuzzy on the inside and you can't help but want to squeeze him and smile around him. His smile was so contagious, like of a child's, so big and precious, and even his bright blue eyes would smile. We all say the good ones die young and yes, it's true. People tend to get mad at God and ask why He would let that happen, but I think I understand why now. I believe it's because God takes those that have completed their good deeds and He wants his angels back. I can't imagine why else, because to me, Kevin was an angel on Earth. That's why I always have his memorial card in my car, to protect me. He never did any wrong to anyone. He always protected and defended his friends & family to the fullest. He never judged anyone. All he had was light and love in his big heart. I strongly believe Kevin James was here to be an angel on Earth, to be a good example, and God saw he did his part and took him back to be with the rest of the angels up above. It's always sad to lose the ones we really love, but what we have to remember is that they're in a better place and even though we can't see, hear, or touch them, they can still see & hear us and touch our hearts, but someday we will be with them again enjoying the good life in Heaven. Rest in peace, blue eyed angel. Cheers to your birthday coming up and for being a prime example of how a person should be. Love you, Kevin James. :)

"Thoughts on Life" Written Nov 4, 2008

I found one of my blog posts during MySpace days and thought it was interesting. I can't remember why I wrote this. Heck, I can't even remember much that happened in 2008 for that matter, but apparently I had a lot to think about then. Here goes:

Life is the most undefined matter/subject/word/topic on this earth. It has ups and downs, rough moments, great moments, it's a cycle of growing, learning, and teaching...work isn't always what you expected...you don't feel as motivated as you would like to be...your mind is constantly changing on what you want to do, what you want to be, what/who you actually like...relationships are never balanced...you like someone but the person you like could care less or has no idea your feelings exist...you go through friends, friends go through you, people get upset for little things in life, for it's the little things in life that matter to those who care, so no matter how many times you apologize and truly, sincerely mean it, it doesn't matter anymore because the damage is done, and unfortunately you can't undo your doings...You can't really give advice to a "What should I do?" situation because no matter how similar two stories sound, they're not comparable enough because each person's reactions are different...What ever happened to love letters? True romance? Letting someone know how you feel and not making someone read your mind or going after what you like knowing you may or may not get it, just knowing that you tried was worth it?...Believing in destiny was so much fun, knowing that "one person" will come into your life some day and take you away, now it's as if there is no hope, because it seems like everything just comes to an end...Games are the new fad in love & relationships, but they're not even fun...They only happen, because people are afraid of getting burned in the end and afraid to face rejection so they cheat their way in and out. No one admits to their own feelings and it kills inside to admit when you're wrong, but it should only make you feel stronger to admit to something that would normally make you feel weak. Instead of getting in what's right they stick with what's wrong, because it's "comfortable" but that's a big cause for pain...These days, people have less faith in God and wonder why the world is coming to an end. How do we expect to save our earth, if we don't believe in the person that helped create it or even help to fix it? It's like one of my favorite songs from Jewel: "Who will save your soul, if you won't save your own?" We've found ways for technology to do just about anything for us, and we take advantage of it more and more, but does any good come out of it? What would we do without cars, air planes, cell phones, computers, television, radio? Ok yes, we'd be BORED out of our minds, so be thankful for what you have and quit complaining, and remember to acknowledge and appreciate the priceless things that we have. We don't know our destiny, but the one thing we know in life for certain is that it'll come to an end someday. As depressing as that sounds, it's the truth, which is why you must live it up as if it is your last day so stop being afraid and wasting time on nonsense...You might miss out on a great life. Just some food for thought. Yes, I think a lot, my thoughts are random and I'm not afraid to share them.

My Personal Top 10 $0-$20 Inside Out Self Help DIY Tips

     Everyday, people are looking for the greatest products or remedies to make themselves look or feel better, but usually the products that are ranked the best are the most expensive and not everyone can afford to even try them, because who knows if they'll even really work just because of the brand name? My whole life, I have been one of those people always trying to figure out what's best for my hair, skin, body, and mind so I feel like I should share my personal head to toe & inside out self help DIY tips that cost under $20. :)

*Please take note that these are my personal tips and some may not work for your skin type. I have pretty thick, normal, olive toned skin, so if you have for example, very sensitive and/or pink skin that easily sunburns and/or are prone to breakouts, some of these may NOT work for your skin, so use your instinct when reading these. :)

1. For a home made toner, acne treatment, and/or in-grown hairs

Mash several aspirin pills and put them in a small bottle mixed with part witch hazel & part rubbing alcohol, and always shake before using. This remedy makes for a great toner and make up remover to really get dirt out and tone your skin before applying moisturizer as well as an acne healer. It's also good to treat and prevent ingrown hairs.

2. To make your skin refreshed & glowing

Ever experience your face feeling dry and sucking up the moisturizer just seconds after applying it? It's not pretty! For more moisture, I mix about two drops of Vitamin E oil with a half dime sized amount of moisturizer to give me that dewy glow, more so on my cheeks. Don't be afraid of looking too shiny, because once you apply make up over your moisturizer it will absorb, and you'll end up with just the right amount of glow. For a refreshed look, splash your face with ice cold water about 10 times after cleansing as it tightens pores and skin like a toner would and it will make your skin look much more vibrant as opposed to red and blotchy after washing your face with warm-hot water.

3. For unwashed or over shiny hair
I think we've all accidentally put too much serum in our hair before and caused it to look like it hasn't been washed in days or maybe we skipped a few days of washing, because we haven't had time to wash it and needed some of that extra oil. Well, this solution is super easy and all it takes is some baby powder or body powder and rubbing it into your scalp and hair to absorb that extra moisture and to give it a clean feeling. You can buy some at the dollar or drug store, so stop buying expensive dry shampoo that just leaves residue in your hair and feels icky. Yuck!

4. To get rid of split ends

For split ends, I typically do this when my hair is dry and straight so I can see the dead ends better. I take my hair in sections and twist from root to ends. Then, I cut all the hairs sticking out that have white tips at the ends. I use moroccan oil, vitamin E, or coconut oil, and leave it in my hair over night on my ends about once every or every other week. For a more detailed version of this, feel free to watch my tutorial here.

5. Dry, rough feet to silky, smooth soles
Typically, people go to the salon to get pedicures when they feel their toesies need some attention, but nail spas can't really help TOO much with the dry skin on our feet no matter how much paraffin wax or callus remover they put, so we need to give it extra TLC at home. Don't be deceived by pumice stones or cheese grater looking contraptions, as they can actually be too abrasive and get rid of the layer of skin we need to protect our feet causing cuts and more time needed to heal. To make your feet smooth as a baby's bottom, do this procedure before going to bed. Soak your feet in warm water and use a gentle scrub all over your feet, primarily focusing on the rough areas, but don't rub too hard. Rinse & dry your feet and wrap your finger with a napkin or tissue and scrape the rough areas. It sounds gross, but I swear it works and besides, it's your feet and in the privacy of your own home. Then, rinse and dry your feet again and rub your feet with olive or coconut oil. Follow up with a thick moisturizer such as cocoa butter or Nivea moisturizer for very dry skin. Wearing sandals a lot or shoes without socks, and walking barefooted can cause a lot of dryness so be sure to put on some moisturizer on your feet before putting on your flip-flops or when you get home daily.


6. Feeling down, tired, and need a quick pick-me-up?
Most people can feel depressed, lonely, or down and a lot of times they can't think of a single reason why, and usually we feel our worst in the mornings and need a boost to fully wake up and feel good. There are several things I do to kick those "off" moods to the curb. 1. Forget coffee & energy drinks. No one actually NEEDS them. It's all in your head. Start your day by opening all the curtains or blinds in your house and letting light in. Darkness affects our moods big time and can bring us down, so make sure there's plenty of light around you. 2. Turn on some music and make sure it's something upbeat, not sappy slow jams or I'm-angry-at-the-world metal music, but something you can dance or bob your head to as that will boost your mood and help you ignore the things that might frustrate you easily, such as traffic, a bad meeting with your boss, or even the ugly weather outside. 3. Stretch throughout the day, especially right when you wake up. Stretching relaxes your muscles, brings oxygen to the brain which wakes you up, and it releases toxins out of your tissues. 4. Eat some tangerines or spray some tropical air fresheners around you. Research shows that the smell of citrus triggers our happy moods and makes us feel more energized so go on and sniff those oranges in the fruit aisle! :)

                                          7. For a smooth, close shave
Coconut oil is good for soooo many things such as cooking, dry hair & skin, and it's even good for shaving. I haven't tried coconut oil by itself to shave yet, but I've been using First Aid Beauty Smooth Shave Cream and it has coconut oil in it and it works great! It also doesn't leave that oily residue on your razor when shaving that some oils would do. Plus, it moisturizes your legs at the same time. For that close shave, make sure your skin has been in warm water for a while to soften the hair and then exfoliate to get rid of the dead skin. Lather on some coconut oil or the product I previously mentioned and shave. If you're shaving your legs, shave against the grain, if you're shaving thicker hair such as underarms, facial hair, or other areas you want to prevent ingrown hairs, then shave with the grain.


8. For Pearly White Teeth
No need to get your teeth whitened at the dentist for hundreds of dollars nor even use whitening strips. Just swish around some hydrogen peroxide in your mouth once or twice a day for 30-60 seconds, and your teeth will really become whiter and brighter. It's actually one of the first ingredients you'll see in teeth whitening products and it really does work alone. Aside from whitening, hydrogen peroxide is also great for oral hygiene, because it kills bacteria. So pull out that brown bottle from your first aid kit and keep it next to your toothpaste instead!



9. For a nice tan without the damage from UV rays & without the streaks & $$$ of spray tansI'm olive toned skin, so I can look pretty fair and yellowish in the winter, but I can tan really quick in the summer. However, there's no way I'll wait 5-6 months to get some color. I try to avoid using tanning beds too often, because of the health risks and I hate how self tanners or spray tans can be pricey, fade quickly, smell badly, and can make you orange. I know... I'm picky, BUT there is finally a great, cheap solution!!(I'm pretty thrifty in case you haven't noticed yet.)I've been using the new and improved Jergen's Natural Glow Moisturizers. They finally smell so much better and they give a nice color gradually instead of looking like
orange fake & bake and they don't streak! They carry a quick 3 day moisturizer that works AWESOME if you need a tan for a special occasion coming up, instead of waiting 5 days to a week to see some color. I mix it with a scented body lotion just in case the odor they say it no longer has somehow manages to come out, and I also mix some with my facial moisturizer to enhance color on my face, because that's ironically the whitest part of me. I now swear by this product and what's great is you only need to use it a few times a week to keep the color.

10. Home made antibiotics
One word...GARLIC. It works wonders to help cure illnesses such as the cold and even body aches. I did research on it when I was sick with the flu and apparently garlic works as strong, if not stronger than penicillin. I read that it even helps fight viruses such as HIV, herpes, and the flu. Amazing! What I do when I feel I'm coming down with something is take a garlic clove or two and slice it up. They say it's best to chew it to really get the juices out, but that is too potent for me, so I just swallow the slices of garlic like a pill and follow it with OJ or tea.


I hope you like my personal self help tips and perhaps they will help you someday. Thanks for reading and God bless. Namaste. :)

Baby Predicting: A Wives Tale Come True?

     For many years, I've heard of the old wives tale of using a needle and thread or a necklace with a charm over the palm of your hand, and by the motion of it, it basically tells you how many children you will have and what their gender will be. However, I've never known which was true since some people said circles meant girl, some said boy, some say you can only use a needle and thread, others say if you use a necklace it has to have a wedding band on it, and others say it can only be done over a pregnant belly.

     Two weekends ago, my friend told me her husband's aunt showed them her method which involved just a regular necklace with a pendant on it and she tested this method on women that already had kids and they were all correct. Then, she did it on my friend and her husband and it showed 4 boys for both of them. I couldn't believe it so I had to try it myself to see how it all works. I did it with my necklace which has two charms on it and held the necklace over her palm. Sure enough it showed 4 boys again. It blew my mind and of course I had to see what I would have someday and it showed one boy and then one girl (yay!) Tried it on my boyfriend, same thing. This past weekend, I told my friends about it at my best friend's birthday dinner and tried it on everyone there. Both couples had the exact same thing and my friend's mom who already had two girls, showed two girls. That's when we knew it couldn't be more real. I tried it on my parents the next day and it showed one girl for each, which is true! Can you say mind blowing?! Okay, so I get it's really weird and sounds crazy to believe a necklace can tell you how many kids you'll be having and what their gender will be, but it's fun to try regardless. It makes for a great game at a baby shower or even at a dinner party or just to kill curiosity. No one says you have to believe it, but it sure is chilling.

     To do this test, you get a light necklace with a charm on it and place it straight above the person's palm. Doesn't matter how still it is, it WILL move on its own. If it swings back and forth, it's a boy, then it should circle to break in between kids or to stop. If it swings side to side, it's a girl. So make sure it circles before telling you the next kid, because a circle does not mean girl, it's just a gap, and then wait for it to completely stop. Give it a try and let me know if it worked right for you or not or what you think of all this. Have fun!