The "Works" Of Life

    It's 5:16am and I can't go back to sleep. I've been up since before 4am and of course my mind has been wandering about a lot of things such as the odd dream I just had, God and His wonderful ways of life, what I want to do with my life, and then I started asking Him what He wants me to do with my life since I haven't had a job since November. All these jobless months have made me think too much about what I want to do and what path I should take that I can't seem to stick to just one thing. Then of course I start thinking about my past jobs and this one person comes to mind who traumatized a lot of my career path. 

     My mind then drifted to that sick disease we call Cancer, because I found out recently that two people I know have it and it makes me wonder what on earth causes this awful thing to start in the first place...Then that made me think back to that horrific person I once knew and I thought, "that crazy manager of mine was like a Cancer battle for me." I can't say what Cancer feels like and I'm sure one can't compare it to anything else, but with the things I went through and the steps of a Cancer battle, I would have to say this person was like my Cancer and I'm in remission. It's a nasty thing to say, but it's not so nasty when you actually know the person I'm referring to and some will know who I am talking about, but I will not be cold enough to mention her name on here. The fact that I can think of this person from many, many moons ago, and just the thought still makes me cringe, gets my blood boiling, and makes me want to cry all at the same time proves she's the worst person I've ever known and I don't have hate for anyone. Why dwell on it still? Well for starters, I think because I've regretted so many times not standing up for myself when I should've, especially when she took my laptop and went through my email and forwarded herself an email someone else sent me, without my permission (YES, THAT REALLY HAPPENED), but she somehow made me feel so small and so unworthy that I couldn't bring myself to stand up to her. I guess because I felt like she'd shun me if I ever did. Another reason I still dwell on it is that she affected the way I worked at the next job I took and I wish I could change that. I literally had to make a list and report EVERY little detail that I did at work at the end of EVERY day and call her or email her EVERY morning as soon as I got into work and EVERY evening before I left, that when I finally got a new job it felt strange if I didn't run something by my new manager, because I was so use to being micromanaged at the previous job. I knew it wasn't right, but it was pretty much all I was use to in a work place. However, my new manager just wanted me to do what I thought was best and just own it like any normal manager would want. It's like being in a bad relationship for so long. You don't like it, but you get so use to it that change would feel weird even if it is for the best. I mean who really wants to deal with anxiety, paranoia, and fear of being fired just about every single day anyway? Why did I stay there for so long, you ask? I actually liked what I did, decent pay and benefits, big company name, and I made close friends there. 

    Sometimes I wish I could tell her what an awful person she was to me to show her the scars she's left me, but what's the point? Perhaps it's unfinished business or maybe it would make my mind at ease by having closure in a sense. She made up so many lies and told me no one wanted me there all because she wanted me gone, but I never understood why. I remember one occasion when I threw a going away party at a bowling alley for a VP I supported, with food & gifts, and I took pictures and passed out awards to teams, and everyone praised me for doing such a great job at hosting the event. It was a great turn out and I just knew the good news would go back to her and she'd be proud of me too...Or so I thought. She came to me the next day and said she heard I didn't pass out the awards and that the party turned out horrible. I couldn't believe it! It always seemed like stories would always get switched up at that place or she'd try to come up with a story of her own to try to catch me in something to get me fired, because it's what she always wanted. Luckily, I had proof with pictures, but she still gave attitude for a bit, but the proof eventually shut her up. Some people that noticed her strange ways, even our own courier, would say she did it out of jealousy but jealous of what? She's 10-15 years older than me so one would think she'd be more mature and not be so childish. I honestly think it had a lot to do with the way she was brought up and her cold culture (no affection, love, etc.) and also a lack of a sex life. She had a man, but always complained about him, so she probably rarely got any which can cause major frustration in women in their 30's. Yes, I just went there. I use to want more people to see how mean she was, since she put on the friendly act to her superiors, but most importantly I want HER to know how cold and cruel she was and hopefully becomes a better person.

     Micromanagers should never be managers and no one should ever be harassed at work and just let it go. Maybe this is why I was awake. Maybe God answered my question of what to do (for now) by telling me to write a brief summary of what I went through at work to let people know it's never okay to be bullied at work. No one should ever feel small at work or have to report every little detail about what they did, unless of course they're on a performance plan, but regardless it's not right and if it's happening to you or someone you know, do as Bob Marley said, "Get up, stand up! Stand up for your rights!" Don't worry about losing your job, because there are plenty more out there and remember, what's meant to be will be. Thanks for reading and God bless.  :)

Klear That Keratosis Pilaris With This!!!

          Alright, a few of you, if not a lot, may be wondering what the heck Keratosis Pilaris is and why on earth I'd choose that to talk about. Well, lucky for you I'm kind of a skin expert since I'm a certified esthetician & always reading up on the latest skin care treatments and trying new products, because just like hair stylists that always notice bad hair, I always notice bad skin, and can't help but want to fix it. Of course it's not easy to just say, "Hey if you ever want me to fix your acne, let me know!" since that sounds offensive. I'm not licensed so I can't offer facials either. Therefore, I will blog.

        

    Keratosis Pilaris is essentially debris or sebum in your hair follicles from not exfoliating enough and not getting enough moisture. In not so medical terms, it's those annoying, ugly, red bumps a lot of people get in the back of their arms and in some cases, on their thighs or cheeks. I'm a victim of Keratosis Pilaris (KP) on my arms. It looks so ugly and it's not in any way, shape, or form sexy, because it feels like you have chicken skin or goose bumps all the time without it even being cold. A lot of people have asked me if it's eczema or rosacea... NO, IT'S NOT! It's its own skin condition and has always been a pain to get clear. I've tried so many products, Amlactin lotion, Aloe Vera which helped sometimes, deep moisturizing lotions, and rough exfoliation which actually makes it worse. Well, I've finally found a product or two that keep it under control. Unfortunately, I have to use it pretty much every day to maintain its smoothness, but at least it works! I read up on this A.H.A Botanical Body Wash from Mario Badescu for KP treatment. It's a good size bottle for only $8 at Nordstrom! I couldn't believe how many good reviews I saw for a product that cheap and especially couldn't believe something at Nordstrom cost under $10...scored a twofer! It smells really nice, not too girly or strong, just very clean and it leaves a nice, smooth feeling afterwards. It's made my skin clearer, but I knew I needed to try something else to moisturize. I didn't read much up on his other products since none of them really stood out to me online, but I found another line that's great for KP, Paula's Choice RESIST Weightless Body Treatment with 2% BHA. That stuff worked like a charm. It smells very light and feels amazing on your skin even your hands. It's an exfoliant for your body it can actually be used anywhere, not just those areas, if your skin isn't too sensitive, and it's good for body acne as well. Her site usually has good deals. Plus, you can get up to 3 samples of her other products for free. And just a tip before purchasing, make sure there's a coupon code online by going to www.retailmenot.com and enter the code at checkout. I hope this helps all you KP victims out there.
        

          If you have any questions or suggestions for this or any other skin condition, please let me know in the comments below. Thanks & God bless! :)

New Beginnings

Well...this is my first blog post on here. I've had tumblr, but I felt like that was more for teens. Today, I am starting a new page, a new beginning, and a new adventure. My whole life, I've always enjoyed writing, from diaries to essays in school, to love letters, etc. I probably get it from my mother, since she's been a writer for the Portuguese newspaper for many years. However, I never thought I was good enough to be a professional writer, especially not like her, because my vocabulary wasn't exactly up to par or I wasn't into the news or history, but I've definitely gotten smarter about those things as I've grown up and learned about life, of course. Anyway, I'm really excited about this. Obviously, I'm not getting paid for this, but I've always wanted to share my thoughts and opinions with the world about general things, things that people should know or learn about, because I feel like nowadays, people can be so...uneducated, cruel, or naive, and in some cases, they don't carry many morals or values. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm far from it. I just want to share what I've learned in life, because I think my parents have taught me a great deal and I've taught myself a whole lot as well from personal experiences. I tend to be pretty blunt and not have much of a filter, so please bear with me in my blogs. They might get offensive from time to time, because I do get passionate and strong headed about what I have to say. I am Portuguese after all :P. However, I try to look at all angles of a picture to avoid looking ignorant, but from my experience on voicing my opinions to friends or on Facebook (which isn't usually a great idea), I haven't always received the best of feedback. I never fully understood why, because it is after all my OPINION, but I think it partially has to do with the fear of hearing the truth, but a lot of the times I think it's HOW I voice my opinion. I've had a tendency to just blurt anything without thinking (no, not like Tourette's), but I've definitely improved in that department and haven't been doing that nearly as much as I use to, so I do apologize in advance if my blog posts ever offend you. Realistically, no one can please everyone, and sometimes we just have to toughen up and deal with what we hear/see or ignore it and move on if we don't like it. I am a sinner just like everyone else, because no one is perfect, so please always keep that friendly reminder in your brain. My blogs are going to consist of a lot of opinions and advice based on things I've tried, have seen, think, or heard about. That's what I like to do, which is why I want to be a therapist, but I'm not quite headed in that direction just yet, so for now, I shall blog. Basically, you can either read my blog and learn from it or take it with a grain of salt, and if you truly have a problem with it, feel free to leave a comment or message me, as I too like to hear other's opinions. You don't always know you're doing something wrong unless someone tells you, right? Sometimes you have to be corrected or reminded that you could possibly be upsetting someone, but for now, I will stick to positivity, good notes, and happy thoughts to steer clear from the negative vibes. Stay tuned and God bless. :)